So I get home from this totally catastrophic date the other night with this girl I met while free dating, and it seemed like the forces of nature were conspiring against me, doing everything they could to prevent me from ever seeing this girl again.

            I don’t know if its just me, but I tend to have extremely bad luck when free dating. We met while free dating about 3 weeks prior to the actual physical date, and had been messaging each other frequently. We finally decided we’d take it to the next level and go do something fun. Big mistake. I should have known that with my clumsiness and accident prone nature that I shouldn’t have stepped within 50 meters of her.

            Ill take you through some of the events that went down with this girl I met while free dating.

I picked her up around seven at her place, she wasn’t ready…but really, who didn’t see that coming?

We made small talk until she was ready, mostly about how neither of us had really tried free dating before, so this was a new experience for both of us. As we left her place, I looked down and happened to notice I had a shirt wiener… now for anyone who doesn’t know what that is, its when the bottom ends of your shirt are pulled through your open fly giving the impression that your wiener is made of fabric. What a great way to start my night with this girl I met free dating. We both had a laugh, got into my truck and went to this awesome pizzeria not far from her place. What better way to ease into our first non online date.

We order our food and sure enough, as soon as I pay, I drop my pizza, toppings side down, onto the floor. Yay! We snickered a bit more, ate our food and decided to go get a few drinks to end this non online date night. We pull into a nice little local pub, order some wine and a few beers, and everything seems to be going great.  Until it happened, I swear, the waitress had it out for me. As she brought us the appy’s we ordered, she “accidentally” dumped them onto my lap… I jump, bumping the table, spilling the wine on my date, and making a large embarrassing scene. I paid, we left, and our non- free dating experience was over.